Imagine you’re in a choir, the conductor turns to the music, and starts muttering "Right, what are we doing today? Oh yes, this one. Hmm... Gosh, what is that? Wow…" Eventually they decide to start. How are you feeling?
Amused? Frustrated? I’d be wondering whether this rehearsal is going to be a waste of time. The conductor might have years of experience but that doesn’t feel reassuring right now. You’re trusting them to lead you somewhere, but you're not convinced they know where they're going themselves.
As a conductor, I know this feeling from the other side of the music stand. When I haven't prepared enough, my instructions become less clear, and I can feel the confidence of the room slipping. I can't blame my choirs; it comes down to integrity.
“Practice what you preach” is a phrase I’ve heard a lot, but I have memories of hearing "do as I say, not as I do". As a child there was no phrase that wound me up and made me want to misbehave more than someone telling me to do something they weren’t doing.
Christians tell people that following Jesus changes lives. We talk about love, forgiveness, generosity and grace. What happens when our lives don't reflect that? If I tell my choir that preparation matters, but regularly turn up unprepared, my words lose their weight. Preparation does matter! But my actions tell a different story. We might be confident in the gospel, competent at explaining it, and surrounded by opportunities to share it, but if our friends see a disconnect between what we say and how we live, why should they trust us with the rest of what we’re saying?
A naughty word
A friend of mine was recently knocked off her bike by a driver who had swerved out into the main road, hit her and bent her bike out of shape. (Disclaimer: she is fine, just shaken and a few bruises). As she told me what happened, she rather sheepishly admitted, "I called the driver a naughty word."
"Well I’m not at all surprised, I probably would have too!" I replied.
She was so embarrassed to tell me. But as we chatted, she shared a bit more and was so nervous: she hadn't wanted me to know. “I don’t know how church people might take it”.
This made me think about how many of us have different versions of ourselves for different groups of friends. Perhaps we wouldn't dream of swearing, drinking or gossiping in front of our Christian friends, but around coursemates or flatmates who don’t share our faith it's a different story. I'm not going to debate whether Christians should swear or drink here (that’s for you to work out together with those you trust with your discipleship!), but I wonder whether we're making decisions based on our convictions or simply trying to meet some perceived expectations of whoever we're with.
And what happens when those worlds meet? When your coursemates come to church, or your church friends meet the people you live with? Will they recognise the same person?
Jars of clay
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
What a strange image. The extraordinary treasure of the gospel, carried around in something as ordinary as a clay jar. I'd imagine modern day Paul might have said something like "we have this treasure in plastic Tupperware". You know the sort; a bit stained, slightly misshapen, and the lid doesn't quite fit anymore. I suppose a bit like you and me! Ordinary, not quite perfect, but extraordinarily useful and beloved.
Integrity isn't about convincing everyone that our lives are perfect. I don't want my friend to feel ashamed to tell me she swore, any more than I'd want her to feel she has to pretend to her friends outside church! It's about being honest about who we are, what we believe, and what following Jesus looks like in our lives. When I don’t prepare for a rehearsal, I could bluff my way through and hope nobody notices, or I can acknowledge it, apologise, and make sure to be better prepared next time. I know which I'd rather do!
Sometimes, we’re so worried about appearing to be “good” Christians that we miss opportunities to demonstrate the grace we're so keen to tell people about.
This week, ask yourself whether your life tells the same story as your words. Are there things you'd rather your Christian friends didn't know? Are there ways your actions might be undermining your message? Remember, we're not inviting people to follow us, we're inviting them to follow Jesus.
